So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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