There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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