Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
