Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
