she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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