Me too!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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