that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
