Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
