my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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