what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
