Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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