I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
