I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize