when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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