I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
