she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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