Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
