So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize