Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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