I feel like I'm in dance class right now
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
