I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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