4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
