how can u be prego again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize