is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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