Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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