Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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