your thong is hanging out like whoa
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
