NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
honey bunches of taint.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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