Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
