Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
