is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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