so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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