i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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