I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
tell me about the fingering
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
