I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
