He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
