if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
