well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
