so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Found the puke drawer
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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