In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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