goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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