Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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