well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
