My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
