A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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