Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We got so high we made milksteak
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
