Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize