I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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