My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
