hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
