he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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