glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
