Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
