they need to just BURY HIM!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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