she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
