Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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