Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
