I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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