why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
