This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
