she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize