Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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