Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
