And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
