We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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