so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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