this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
