JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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