so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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