i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
