i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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