OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
