Can Purell be used as lube?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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