I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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