So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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