I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize