i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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